I am the Blue Sheep..with extra commentary at the back..heh... :)
You are Blue Sheep, who has a gentle and soft atmosphere. (Right....my foot..me gentle?)
You give favorable impression to many people. (i would like to think so...)
You have inner strength, and give an impression of very intelligent person. (yeah...i AM intelligent..)
You are not cautious to opposite sex. (Hmm..?)
Although you don't push your point, you are very sociable and modest. (yup..modesty is my middle name..)
You also tend to be calm and will not yield in so easily. (you haven't seen me under pressure have you?)
You have strength not to show others your weakness. (hmmm...?)
You can objectively assess the other person's movement, and can tactfully make the situation favorable to you. (probably...)
You can use this skill to help men be successful in life. (I can?? heh...)
You can display your skill in drawing up a rational plan, but sometimes you take on things without much thought and regret it afterwards. (so true...so true..)
You should be careful about this.
You put great priority on economic side of everything. (not exactly....)
You show interest in savings and can take good control of household budget. (have i mentioned that i spent 30bucks in 15mins last week at the supermarket..and i only bought 2 items?)
Your stubbornness may affect your love. (perhaps...)
But once you get along well, your relationship has a possibility of turning into heart-to-heart communication. (yeah..i s'ppose it could..)
You are good at reading other people's mind and taking in charge of things. (should be somewhat better at that..)
You have weak point in maternal instinct. (Maternal?? a MUM?)
After getting married, you tend to be over protected to your children, and may become obsessed with your children's education. (education? i might worry...but not obsessed...)
Praise the Lord
if for no other reasons than the shitty stuff that happened to me today in the span of 3 hours..
Exam was horrible.
Lobster died.
Had a pop quiz during lecture in which yours truly didn't attend due to the Exam.
this is the total shits.
but then..
Praise Him.
because i believe that He doesn't throw me into these kind of situations just for the heck of it.
There's something to be learnt.
Not too sure what it is yet tho.
But i know there's something.
Anyway..
I realised that there are so many people out there who cares for me..
i'm touched..
seriously i am..
just by looking at my msn nick..
friends just came and asked what's wrong..
and i really appreciate it..
even tho my vocabulary throughout the conversation was very limited, and it sounded as if i didn't want people around me..
i'm touched that you guys still showed your concern.
thank you.
love you guys loads.
for if i can't find anything worth learning besides praising Him in every circumstance, from today's adventure..
one of the most important thing i learnt was that i have friends who care..
man..this sounds like a Hallmark commericial...or a Carebears cartoon..sheese..
but really..
Thank You.
you guys made my day.
Piano exam today
Shitty.
'Nough said.
There once was a girl who didn't want the world to know her secrets. Now that girl is gone.
I cry at romantic teen comedies.
Even though I know they will get back together… and even though I know she is one sassy fox underneath those glasses… and even though I know they will kiss before the movie ends… I still cry at romantic comedies.
I plan what I say before I make a phone call.
Even though I know he is not going to ask all the questions I have the best answers for… and even though I know he is going to notice the awkward silence… and even though I know that the moment he utters “hello”, I forget everything I was going to say…I still plan what I say before I make a phone call.
I dance in front of my bedroom mirror.
Even though I know I'm hugely uncoordinated… and even though I know that no matter how crap my dancing, I will always think it amazing because I'm a biased judge… and even though I know that the chances of my parents walking in on me in the middle of my Bootylicious number is high… I still dance in front of my bedroom mirror.
I like burnt cookies.
Even though I know cookies are meant to be nicest when soft, hot and fresh from the oven… and even though I know my teeth probably curse me daily for subjecting them to such torture… and even though my taste buds must question my sanity… I still like burnt cookies.
I have a yet-to-be-set date on the horizon so... wish me luck.
May he never see me cry at a romantic comedy. May he never have VIP entrance into my head so as to hear the conversation I have planned for us. May he never see me dance so that he may see again. May he only serve me burnt cookies.
-took this from Krinks-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR PAMELA HOR!!!!!!!!!!
i would really like to bake this cake for you, but i'll prolly screw it up somehow..
so, i'll try to make this cake instead..
it'll be chocolatey...but...it might go abit out of shape..heh..
remind me to make it when u get back in december... :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SISTER!!
Today's a fairly decent day..
started off kinda horribly tho..
but all's well that ends well..
yup...
plus the power of prayer..
:)
amazing effects..
another caffeine-free day...
yeah...didn't touch a single molecule of that addictive stuff the whole of yesterday either..
bought a gigantic 1litre bottle of cranberry juice to act as a healthier alternative..
:)
anyways...back to this morning..
was heading to school...
and apparently..my scrunchie dropped and erm..i didn't notice it until i was at the central library's bus stop..
which made it almost impossible for me to back track all the way to kent ridge bus interchange and yet not be late for my appointment and tutorial..
so with my usual state of frizzy-hairness..
i met my friend's friend, who happened to be taking the same tutorial class as me whom i've never ever met before..
so...it was small talk all the way to class with me trying to deal with my flyaway hair...
went to class did manual labour of shifting chairs around to form a semi-circle..
:/ (i hate this kind of sitting arrangement..because it means that the tutor can see you no matter where you're sitting at..)
anyways...did i mention that i did not copy a single sentence from today's class?
it was just sitting and listening..
that's it..
had an ice-breaker at the beginning of the lesson.. -__-
had to do a self-intro thingy to the class and others will comment about it..
then there was interaction with someone whom you do not know..
which you would share about with the class later..
it could be considered as a relaxing class..since there isn't much homework..
but it requires a whole lot of interaction...which i'm still abit nua about..
anyway...so that lasted 2hrs..
after class...i was FORCED to back track all the way back to the interchange for my scrunchie..because it's my favourite one..
and i was super pessimistic and skeptical about it still being there..
it's 2hrs...there's alot of human traffic in 2hrs...
the sweepers might have swept it away..
someone might have kicked it into the road, grass, somewhere..
logic assumptions right?
anyway...lo and behold...
it was THERE...
at the interchange...just lying there on the floor..
isn't it so amazing?
:)
He answered my prayers..
even how minor it is..
and...
i think there's a reason why i was 'made' to walk to the interchange..
i saw my friend there..
you know..the one i wrote about in the previous post?
i think like 2 entries before..
yup..that same one..
and we took the same bus today
and we had a chat..
:)
i'm happy..
tired but happy..
:)
It has been a tiring week so far.
My energy meter drops to dangerously low levels everyday.
and let's face it.
I'm stressed.
nope..your eyes are perfectly fine..
i did say that I AM STRESSED.
and this week's only the 3rd week of school..
imagine what's it gonna be like for me towards the end of the semester..
ugh.
for this week, i've got tutorials to finish, assignments to hand up, lab reports to type out..
plus an exam on monday which i am still totally unprepared for.
and have i ever mentioned that i can't juggle so many balls at high speeds?
juggling was never a problem for me..
i can handle it.
but..
when the number of balls increase and the speed of which i've got to juggle increases..
*shrugs*
and..did i ever mention that i can't work under extreme pressures?
oh...i thrive under slight pressure..
and i can survive under pressure..
but give me extreme pressures and i'll crack.
guess what..
this week especially,
i'm juggling many balls at high speeds and pushing myself to work under extreme pressures..
so extreme that my joints are aching..brains are malfunctioning..sleeping on the bare minimum every day..
this isn't good..
what happened to "Be still and know I am God", and about if you're tired, go rest in the Lord..
all these stuff that i'll tell overworked, stressed and tired friends..
and yet..when it's my turn to be overworked, stressed and tired, all these just didn't managed to register into my grey matter..
anyways..
i've been putting alot of pressure on myself this semester..
trying to read up my textbooks before lectures..
well..not for all the lectures..but i do try..
and so far...i'm still on track where the books are concerned..
for the whole of this week,
my world was orbiting around a new center..
which also means..
it's the wrong center..
because..
if it's the right center, i won't feel so tired right?
so..yeah..it's the wrong one..
anyway..
yup..i'm a Caffeine-junkie..
my world is revolving around Caffeine..
Coke, tea, coffee..my basic supplements for the day..
i'm addicted to it..
Drank a cup of coffee for the 8am lecture.
Drank a can of coffee for the 2pm lecture.
and another one for the 4pm lecture.
and sometimes, because the vending machines near my LT ran out of coffee and tea...
i resort to getting a can of Coke..
at 10am in the morning..in hope that somehow, the caffeine in the drink will manage to jumpstart my system.
this is bad.
Anyway, for those who still haven't managed to catch my drift,
my world is supposed to revolve around GOD.
He should be the center of my universe.
but somehow, during the week, i've neglected Him and i went to orbit around another center.
it's like i'm turning my back on God for Caffeine..
neglecting a Heavenly Father for some stupid molecules..
giving up something everlasting for something temporary..
it's stupid.
let's see..
He can and will recharge my batteries everytime i want him to..
no matter where and when...
all it takes is a prayer..
He's like this portable charger..
and the energy that He gives me will last me through a long long time..
and it's free..
Caffeine can give me a turbo boost,
temporary surge of energy
and the effects will last me for about 2hours..
and i'll need to have another shot of it again..
and it's 1buck for a can and 4bucks for a cup..
As long as I rest in Him,
my energy meter will NEVER hit dangerously low levels..
but..
when i rely on IT,
the temporary high is actually an overdraft from the energy bank..
in Him i find joy.
but with It,
there's just no feelings..
so...
why did i choose Caffeine when i've got the real thing?
sheese.
so...
today's cold turkey day..
No CAFFEINE AT ALL..
which includes Coke, Tea, Coffee...
i'll just stick to milk and water..
By 2pm, i'll prolly break out in cold sweat, start to moan and groan, shiver, have spasms of pain..
but i know He'll see me through..
I should be able to do fine today..
nah...
who am i kidding...
sheese..
I WILL do fine today..
i know i will..
You might say show me and I will believe. For all practical purposes, God says, "Believe and I will show you."
Saw a friend on the bus just now.
Walked past her without a smile or a nod or a wave in her direction.
Neither did she.
Sat in the seat right in front of her.
Had plenty of chances to turn around and say 'hi'.
To be friends once again.
Why didn't i do so?
i don't know.
Perhaps..the last time i spoke to her was in Crescent.
Perhaps..i wasn't really very close to her in the first place.
Perhaps..the last time i thought about her was during the collection of our O Levels.
Perhaps..i just couldn't be bothered to make small talk.
Perhaps..i knew that there is a possibility that our conversation on board the bus might be stunted.
Perhaps..i don't know.
but..i'm beginning to regret it now..
Maybe..
i ought to talk to her the next time i see her..
Maybe..
i ought to smile at her..show her my pearly whites..
Maybe..
i ought to give a wave, a nod, anything to acknowledge her prescence..
Maybe..
i shouldn't pretend she's invisible..and that i can be invisible to her too..
Maybes..hopefully, i'll get a chance to change all the "maybes" and "ought to's" into i "did"
BAH.
I HATE NUS.
the stupid school's internet network is screwed.
can't access my e-mail account..
can't access the ivle..
what if i have new lecture notes to be printed..
(which isn't possible since i've printed all there is to be printed..tsk..but still)
what if i have e-mails to read??
and what if i want to find out if nus's network allows me to load music files on it?
i wanna know if i have free webspace there..
:D
but now i can't
Boo.
Ugh.
heh...this is a stupid post. but whatever.
Note: photo wasn't taken by yours truly..there wasn't any chocolatey gooey cakes nearby posing for me.. :)
Communication btw me and God
Chanced upon this and was deeply inspired.. so tot I'd post it..
Something to ponder...
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something. God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried aboutyesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problem?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start my life with a new sense of inspiration.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took your breath away! "
In the Belly of the Whale
From Jonah — a VeggieTales Movie
Up to my ears in bitter tears
Can’t believe I’ve sunk this low
As I walk the plankton inner sanctum
Got outta Dodge,
sailed on a bon-less Bon Voyage
You said north, I headed south
Tossed overboard
Good Lord, that’s a really large mouth…
I’m sleeping with fishes here
In the belly of the whale
I’m highly nutritious here
In the belly of the whale
Bad food, lousy atmosphere
I don’t wanna bellyache
How long is this gonna take?
Woke up this morning kind of blue
Thinking through that age-old question:
How to exit a whale’s digestion?
It might behoove me to be heaved
Head out like a human comet.
Larry: Guys, you might not wanna rhyme with comet.
I’m sleeping with fishes here
In the belly of the whale
I’m highly nutritious here
In the belly of the whale
I’m ready to reappear
I don’t wanna bellyache
Lord, how long’s this gonna take?
End times, they come rolling around
Enzymes, they come breaking us down to the core
The good Lord grants we all get a second chance
I’m one of the dishes here
In the belly of the whale
They say I’m delicious here
In the belly of the whale
Lord, please make him chuck it all
It’s a gut call
In the belly of the whale
I’m in the belly of the whale
In the belly of the whale
I’m in the belly ...
In the belly of the whale
I’m in the belly of the whale
In the belly of the whale
In the belly of the whale
In an underwater jail
it’s a tight squeeze,
it’s a-gettin’ to me
but it’s roomier than the tail
Hey sailorgot my flow free
like a salmon to the sea
from the L.A. Symphony
I’m a paddleboat paddlin’ in their wake
a fake free-styler
But my unemployment pays
I’m avoiding clichés
like "whale of a tale" (stale)
or "you can’t keep a good man down"
‘Cause you can
and I been there, man
but I’ve been expectorated
I’m elated!
I’m free like Willie!
Happy Day!oops,
that’s a bit of a cliché
In the belly of the whale
I got myself another lab partner today..
had to get into groups of 3..
so..vin and i found a girl..
so looked kinda lonely all by herself..
just her friends abandoned her along the way..
heh..
applied chemistry is unchartered territory..
anyway..her name is..
Esther Lim Li Wen..
if anyone knows Esther from my class..
You'll realised that her name is Esther Lim Pei Wen..
the names are sooo similar..
and if anyone knows Esther from my class..
You'll know that she has past away..
Leukemia..
3years ago.
being Jamie..i'll have conflicts, at least once, with anybody..
let's just say that..
with Esther..it wasn't a conflict..it was a WORLD WAR..
and it didn't happen only once...the war prolly went on for a year..
we only resolved our conflicts in sec 4...
not that we're best of friends..
but..she was a good friend..
and i miss her..
everything seems so surreal..
blah.
i thought everything was locked in my jammed shut locker somewhere deep down in my heart..
that i'm ok with everything..
but suddenly everything just starts flooding back..
bah.
it's ok.
she's up there with Jesus now..
He's watching over her..
guess that's all that matters..
ugh..
guess not..
Ohhh..
this is just another thought bubble..
would love to hear some comments on this..
but...Do you think that we are God's adopted kids? or do you reckon we're kids?
i think that...we're adopted..
erm...this question might not seem important to some...but then...i beg to differ..
to me..i feel that i take alot of stuff for granted..
because i'm my parents' child...i expect them to provide me with a roof to live in..allowance every month..pay for my studies..etc
it's like..i take it as it's their 'job' as parents to provide me with all these..
and because it's what i expect them to do..i reckon that i seldom feel grateful for all these..
what's there to feel grateful about when that's what i expect of them?
ok...before you start labelling me as an ingrate..which to some extent i might be..
i'm grateful to know that i have a roof over my head..
i'm grateful to know that i don't have to juggle 3 jobs and studies to earn my own allowance..
i'm grateful to know that i don't have to scrimp and save for my fees in school..
etc.
but..i don't really get this feeling everyday...perhaps only when i'm in a pensive state of mind..
it's sort of like...it's my birthright..
because i'm your kid...you have to do this..you have to do that..
but..yeah...it's a screwed up way of thinking..
anyway...stick with me here..i'm on to something...i think..
ok..so..
i would say that i'm adopted into God's family...
because...i feel that Adam and Jesus ARE God's Sons..
but...well..i'm not directly related..
it's like...Jesus adopted me...and brought me into His family..
so, that's why i was able to recieve this 'gift'..
it's through His grace and love..
i mean...this isn't my birthright..
i'm NOT supposed to get this 'gift' of grace from God..
i can't EXPECT this 'gift' because...i'm not His child..
but because He adopted me into His family, i was given everything..
Not because i did anything that is worthy of such a gift..
but by default..as His child, albeit an adopted one, He just treats me the way He would treat His true kids..
and because of that...i'm grateful...
note..He DOESN'T have to do it...but He DID it..
so yeah...it just makes you cherish this gift even more..
and it just proves how great His love is..
yeah...
so...erm...heh...i hope you aren't confused by what i'm saying...
:)
ok...lemme blog about today...
the usual..what happened to me today...
it might be boring to some...but humour me here k?
so...after have a very interesting thought popping into my head before i slept..
it's a question of...What kind of mum will i be in the future? heh..after thinking about it for awhile...if i'm going to carry on with the way i'm living my life now...i'll feel very sad for my future kids..so...i'm going to change...not a sudden one...but slight changes i guess..slow and steady is good...because i'm not going to have kids like..this year or the next... :D
then...after that, i had a very very interesting dream last night..
it's too interesting and personal to blog about...but it's like this mini-play..so many people were in that dream...i woke up wondering if i was even dreaming about it...it's too surreal..
anyways..then i was dragged out of bed..the lifeless corpse that i am in the morning..got my dad to drive me to school on the way to work..my lecture starts at 8am...it's too much of a hassle to chase after the bus with the working adults..
didn't get my daily shot of caffeine until around 9am..and that's BAD.
anyways...back from digressing..i went for lecture with fear pounding in my heart...ok...maybe it wasn't that bad..but i wasn't looking forward to it tho..because...i thought i didn't know anyone..the 2 friends that were supposed to be taking it with me...erm..well..they got outbidded..yeah..the module's known as..Dynamics of interpersonal effectiveness..any nus kids taking it...please leave a note... :D
so..there i was...sitting all by myself in the LT...and then i saw Gel! :D she's a classmate of mine from crescent..i dragged her over to sit next to me..erm...and yeah..she had to abandon her friends because of that..heh...anyways...then i felt so much better..and we saw another classmate of ours in the lecture too..and a senior from crez..and erm..i saw 2 of my chem lab friends from last semester...i dragged them over too..and they were with 2 friends...who are taking applied chemistry together with me...so...i made 2 new aquaintances...cool eh? heh..ohhh..then minghao, this guy who was in my chemistry tutorials in the 1st sem was sitting right in front of me..so..we were talking during the break too...heh...and i saw claudia and erm...another girl who were also from crescent... i love crescent.. :) life is all about networking...and i've got a semi-solid network of acquaintances and friends...albeit not good or close friends...but they're still familiar faces nevertheless..
Jamie knows alot of people...
so from a loner...i'm surrounded by people...hahaha..
i reckon if i actually link my acquaintances to each other..and they link their friends to me..we should be able to occupy the whole row in the LT... nice thought eh.. :D
yeah..i'm in a happy mood today...
*beams*
ok..that's the end of the boring 'what-happened-to-me-today' entry..
#87CEFA |
Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect. Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything. |
The Storm
A friend of mine has an adorable four-year old daughter. She is bright, and she is talkative. If tryouts were being held for a modern-day Shirley Temple, I think she would win, hands down.
One night there was a violent thunderstorm. The lightning flashed and the thunder rumbled -- it was one of those terrifying storms that forces everyone to stop and tremble a bit. My friend ran upstairs to his daughter's bedroom to see if she were frightened and to assure her that everything would be all right. He got to her room and found her standing on the window sill, spread-eagled against the glass. When he shouted. "What are you doing?" she turned away from the flashing lightning and happily retorted, "I think God is trying to take my picture."
-Tony Campolo-
from 20 Hot Potatoes Christians Are Afraid to Touch
this totally brightened my day..
was reading this article..and decided to type it all out and post it on my blog..
the wonderful wonderful gift of innocence..
*grins*
Have you ever...
felt the breath of life get sucked out of you?
felt vertigo? standing still while the world moves around you?
felt a sudden wave of sadness slamming right into your heart?
felt a shot of happiness running thru you one minute and 'bam' you're dropping back to reality the next?
felt in the morning that you could face the world today and at the end of the day you're crawling back into your own hole of despair?
that's what i'm feeling now..
but now..the head must rule the heart..
When i feel my life being sucked out of me...i need to know that Jesus can give me everlasting life which can never be taken away from me.
When i feel vertigo, i need to be reminded that the world can continue to move around me, but Jesus will be my Rock and He will always be my centre of my life.
When i feel a wave of sadness in me, i need to know that Jesus gave me everlasting Joy..and that there isn't any reason for me to be sad.
When i feel that i'm dropping back to reality, i must know that happiness through any other inlet is fleeting..it's only thru Him that i can be happy forever..because He gave me a reason to be happy when He conquered death by rising from the grave.
When i'm crawling back into my hole of despair, i need to remember that Jesus will bear my burdens..and with Him by my side, my army is INVINCIBLE...no enemy can win this war with Him waging this war together with me..i need to remind myself that i'm not facing the world alone..and He is together with me..
for all of these...i'm thankful that i've got a chance to know Him.
first day of school.
not too bad.
quite good actually.
was actually paying attention to the lecturer.
even tho it was an intro.
but still.
it's cool.
and welcome tea for vcf was not too bad either.
ok.
let's hope that the 2nd day of school will be good too.
10am-6pm.
wow.
should end now before it sounds like a blow by blow account of my day.
took this from yingchao's blog..
this is something which i've been thinking about for ages..
thought about it long ago..and then i gave up trying to answer my own problems..
now, after the holidays..this issue came back with a vengence..
the world is so cloudy. people you meet, many a times u only see their masks. masks can be interpretted 2 ways. one is the person's looks and another is the level of shield the person wants to have against u. looks-wise, all i can say is, don't judge a book by it's cover. or, get to know a person first before u decide whether or not to befriend him/her. in fact, don't even judge a person too quickly.. secondly is the level of shield. for me, whenever i read a testimonial on friendster for me, more often than not, i'll frown, 'don't you know me at all?'.. quite uneasy to know that some friends think of u that way and are close to u maybe cos ur like that. they don't know many stuffs in ur mind.. what would happen if they knew?
maybe i don't feel the same way about the friendster issue...because i haven't really been going to friendster for awhile..but..it's in the little gestures, the conversations i have with my friends that really irk me..it's in the littlest things that you can actually know who really knows you and who doesn't..but then again..it's prolly my fault for not opening up more to the people around me..maybe i did open up to people in certain situations..but they did not catch that glimpse of me.maybe i have to spell everything out in bold capital letters so that everyone will know the real me..but then again..
even I don't know the real me anymore.
everything has merged together.
It's not so easy to differentiate between the masks and the person.
or maybe, the masks and the person make up the real me.
and like what yingchao said..what would happen if they know the real me? the things that are flowing thru my brain? what would their reaction be?
the trip was stupid.
dumb.
complete waste of time.
i figured that i would have had a perfect 1st lecture of the semester if i didn't skipped it for the trip.
i completed 2books.
and i read my Bible.
and i started a new book.
and the trip is a complete bore.
forget it.
it's not even worth keeping in my memory bank.
school starts for me tomorrow.
i hope it's cool.
seriously cool semester.
4 days.
Me.
Away.
Malaysia.
Beach.
Sigh.
hoping that it's a decent beach...
but if it isn't..
i have a backup plan.
Jamie always have backup plans...
i'm gonna bring 4 books...
4 unfinished books..
the Bible..Sophie's World..some short stories book ala Chicken Soup...Rhubarb..
i started on the Bible in 2001..and i'm not finished with it yet.
started on Sophie's World in May..and my holidays are ending and i'm not done with it yet.
started on the short stories book ala Chicken Soup style after i came back from Sydney..2 weeks post-Sydney and i'm not done with it yet.
started on Rhubarb in Sydney..and i'm back in Singapore and i'm not done with it yet.
my reading speed is slowing down.
this is getting scary.
either that or i'm reading more intellectual books.
Books that require the brain to actually think.
heh...i prefer this explanation..i'm reading intellectual books.
Genesis 9:8-17
8 Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: 9 "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you 10 and with every living creature that was with you-the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you-every living creature on earth. 11 I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."
12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
read this at someone's blog..
everything just makes sense now..
INDISPENSABLE"
In a Christian community, everything depends upon whether each individual is an indispensable link in a chain." Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together.The problem of church hopping is solved when Christians understand what is a local church.
Let go and LET GOD.
let go jamie. let go.
it doesn't matter if things don't go the way you expect it to.
all that matters is that things go the way God expects it to.
i'm not the one running the Universe.
He is.
i'm not the one who knows all about the futures of everyone.
He is.
i'm not the one who has the ability to change lives.
He is.
i'm not the one who has the right to pressure others.
He has.
i'm not god.
He is.
He was.
He always will be.
I, on the other hand, will always be human.
so.
let go.
let Him handle it.
with Him on my side, i've got the greatest army the world has ever seen.
Everyone has a story to tell.
Maybe not all are as quick to share their story with others.
Perhaps to tell their story, it would require them to shed their mask.
The story is hidden under the many layers of shield they wear.
It requires you to dig deep under the skin.
Requires patience.
Patience to notice the slight slip in their usual behaviour.
and from there, you can take a glimpse into their hearts.
Not all of us are who others think we are.
First appearances are decieving.
Some may wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Others may not.
It may seem that a person is wearing one's heart on one's sleeve.
But in actual fact.
It's not true.
Don't judge for what you think i am.
Look closer.
Feel with your heart, not your mind.
and tell me who i am.
Tell me, of all the many masks that i juggle, which mask represents the real me?
I guess, all of the masks make up Me.
At a certain point in time, all the masks joined together to form me.
Maybe some parts are more dominant, others aren't.
Be patient and you might hear my story.
1 Question...
Jesus promised us heavenly gifts as long as we remain in Him, He will remain in us.
Heavenly gifts..it's hard to even imagine what they are...but that's because they'll prolly surpass our wildest imaginations..
maybe like...He'll make a mini earth for us and give us one each...hahaha..i've really got no idea what gifts He has in store for us...
But then again..
Jesus promised us heavenly gifts if we follow Him...
so...is that promise of heavenly gifts an incentive?
after thinking for quite some while...
yeah....i think it is..
but then again...aren't you suppose to love Him even if He doesn't give you gifts in return? Because Love doesn't expect anything in return...right?
yeah...so then again...i think it isn't an incentive..
ok...stick with me here...i'm not blabbering nonsense again....erm...yeah..
see...in the beginning...when we started off as new believers...i think that the promise of heavenly gifts are supposed to be an incentive..
an incentive for us to draw closer to Him...to follow Him wherever He may lead..to continue remaining in Him...
but as we draw closer to Him...we begin to see the wonders that were crafted by His Hand..the undying love He has for us...and other stuff and then we feel drawn to Him..not because of the promise..but because of His love for us..
and when we love Him..we'll just want to follow Him...want to be with Him..want to know Him better..want to do deeds that will glorify Him...we'll do all these just because we saw His love for us..and we love Him...
so from that moment...the promise of heavenly gifts stops being an incentive...but it becomes a bonus instead...an added bonus..
After falling in love with Him..you don't need a carrot dangling in front of you so that you'll walk to Him...you'll just walk to Him because you want to be with Him..you don't need the promise of heavenly gifts to continue following Him..because you've already seen the wonders that He's done..and you'll be His follower willingly..so then...the gifts are secondary...He becomes the primary objective instead..the spotlight's on Him now...
