got inspired by Glori's nick.."enter through the narrow gate"
"all welcomed" read the sign on the narrow gate..
yet the crowd that came was little..
"no entry" read the sign hanging on the wide gate
yet hordes of people were trying to get in..
WHY?
the road leading to the narrow gate was long and winding and full of obstacles...but at every obstacle, help will be given..
while the road leading to the wide gate was filled with decorations and neon lit shops...
but does outside really matter?
what if i tell you that the road to Our Father's throne is the long, winding road?
will you still take it?
I am dying..
I really am..
remember my migrane?
i finally went to the doctor's after 2 days.
turns out that i've got an infection of some sorts..
oh well..
at least that's better than the results of my imagination..
2 days ago..
i thought that some spider climbed in thru my ear and got lost halfway or something..thus accounting for the pain in only 1 side of the head..
yesterday..
i thought i had something wrong with my tonsils..but there was a lack of explanation for the specific area which was pain.
sigh..
i've got a shitload of medication.
and large, giant tablets of antibiotics to finish.
decided to change the background music yet again..
got bored with Orange coloured sky playing over and over again..
yup..
so..
here's Phillips, Craig and Dean with How Great You Are.
one of my favouritest songs ever since well..the time i accepted Him.
anyway..
i've got a horrible headache ever since 2 days ago..
and it's pain..
but it's somewhere at the lower right side of my head..not where your usual migranes will act at..
it's truly horrible.
gah.
yesterday was the 21st birthday of a very long friend..7 years..
today...
is the birthday of a super duper long and dear and good friend... 8years..
:)
*drumrolls*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALYN LEE XINBEI!
-muaks-
may all your wishes come true..
Nogawa Restuarants!
before i forget..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIABIN!!
i've known you since you were 14!!
and now you're 21!!
heh...amazing how we've been friends for 7 years..
not too bad eh?
-hugs-
you're not too bad for a friend..haha..someone whom i think i've only saw 3 times in the past 7 years..
-beams-
*edit* just finished the phone convo with him...i was planning to get him a bottle of wine for his birthday..so..had to ask if it was reds/whites...new world/old world..the answer was reds..south africa or france.. O_O...i'll go search.. will be able to dig something out.
and the best part was that...i got a bottle of white for my birthday too!! it's just sitting there in his fridge..waiting for me to get it..ha!
we are sooo alike..haha...great minds think alike..
hmm..now as long as someone will buy a bottle of ice wine for me.. haha..
right.
so..
anyway..
i'm quite proud of myself today..
remember what i blogged yesterday about sharing the chocolate eggs that lijun gave me?
and that i've only got 1 egg left?
yup.
it's still uneaten.
anyway..the story goes like this..
my younger bro went into my room and saw the egg..
and he wanted it..
i offered him the Hard boiled egg that i got from church instead..
so...he didn't want it lar...duh..
so...fast forward to a couple of minutes ago..
he came into my room again...and he saw the chocolate egg..
and he asked if he could have it...
i offered him the hard boiled egg again..
yeah..i haven't ate it yet..
so..
after a like a couple of minutes...i told him that he could have the chocolate egg.
and he got kinda suspicious lar..
i mean..after 2 days of resistance...why is my sister suddenly being so nice..
and he didn't want it..
haha..
i mean..i could have left it as that..and ate it myself..
buttt...
i took the egg and left it in his room.
and that's about it.
i mean..
i didnt' even ate a single egg leh.
after like hinting to the entire world for them.
oh well..
tis' a bliss to share.
and i reckon what i'm feeling now is so much better than 100000 chocolate eggs added together.
Praise Him.
it isn't always easy to make the right decision..but when you do it..it feels damm good.
He didn't die for nothing.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
One life. Live it.
nichole nordeman - why
We rode into town the other day,
just me and my daddy.
he said I'd finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course, was not quite as wild.
We heard a crowd of people shouting,
and so we stopped to find out why.
There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes.
So I said, "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows.
Daddy please, can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry.
You said He was stronger than all of those guys;
Daddy, please tell me why.
Why does everyone want Him to die?"
Later that day, the sky grew cloudy,
and Daddy said I should go inside.
Somehow he knew things would get stormy.
Boy was he right, but I could not keep from wondering
if there was something he had to hide.
So after he left, I had to find out.
I was not afraid of getting lost.
So I followed the crowds to a hill
where I knew men had been killed,
and I heard a voice come from the cross.
And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.
Father please, can't you do something?
I know that You must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size.
Father, remind me why.
Why does everyone want me to die?
Oh, when will I understand why?"
My precious son, I hear them screaming.
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming.
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus, this hurts me much more than you know,
but this dark hour, I must do nothing,
though I've heard your unbearable cry.
The power in your blood destroys all of the lies;
soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look, there below, see the child
trembling by her father's side.
Now I can tell you why... she is why you must die.
i love ethel to bits..
haha
:)
she's super funny..
and she totally made my day..
she told crys to tell me..
"I've found your xmas card"
"but..i forgot where i put it.."
haha
that was so O_O
hahaha
:D
*edit* i love crystal sohhhh tooo.. :)
oh dear..
there's a new show from Jamie Oliver again.
school dinners or some sorts..
check this out.
it's cool..
haha..
really funny.
and thanks to esther...
hahaha..
i've found another blogsite where i can find agnes's photos
maybe not her photos..
but photos of the food that she cooks..
:D
i found the steamed egg with minced pork photo.
:D
*edit* agnes and her FMC t-shirt!! :D
went for easter service..
pretty cool to see the guys again..
:D
after that time over at eugene's party..
:)
joined them for lunch at PS.
overheard this conversation in the toilets..
"Mummy..i want you to go with me.."
"No..cannot..i'm also urgent..you go yourself.."
"erm..Mummy..i let you go first?"
"ok..."
hahaha..so sweet..
:)
then yamaha was having some piano showcase just now..
the kids were GOOD for their age...
and they were just sooo cute.
:)
pity i didn't stay thru the performance..
-sigh-
oh... THANK YOU LIJUN FOR THE CHOCOLATE EGGS!!!
i love you!!!!
i mean..i love you even if you didn't give me the eggs...hahaha.. :D
i had a whole bag of them...ok lar..not alot..but still a bag.. :D
then i erm...shared my eggs...that so didn't sound right..but...
it's correct wad...
heh.
oh well..
i shared the chocolate eggs around..
so now..i've only got 1 egg.
:)
happy happy..so easily satisfied with 1 egg.. :D
and...
NICK CALLED ME FROM MELBOURNE TODAY!!!
yay!!
haha...tho he called my handphone when i was at PS..
had a 20min talk with him..or rather i was shouting into the phone..
:D
i miss him.
i'll go visit everyone in australia again next next year or something..after i get out of nus.
:)
Good Friday's the day when the battle was won.
Easter's just a confirmation to everyone that the battle was won.
Jaclyn's NICE.
hahaha
i'm having a nice msn-ing session with her..
when she's supposed to be doing her assignment..and i'm supposed to be studying polymer chem..
ha.
:D
it's amazing how she can sees so much.
really.
things that i didn't observed...
she did..
and her observations are sooo good.
im impressed.
and i'm searching for chocolate eggs now..
don't ask me why.
i know easter's not about eggs or the bunnies or the chicks..
but..
ahaha..
i dunno?
the same goes for Christmas.
anyhow.
i'm glad you died for me.
really.
i'm gonna pray tonight. after all this while.
i'm back.
"...if someone were to ask you what you wanted to do,what are the things that come to your mind immediately?" -took this from esther's blog-
in my case,
-i want to invent something. anything.
-i want to be a good photographer, and they can see what i see..just by looking at the photos.
-i want my laptop to be lag free!! it's super laggy and i'm irritated.
-i want to be able to play my music even though it might be horrible.
-i want to laze around and watch cartoons the whole day without worrying about anything.
-i want to travel the world...experience different cultures, that sort of thing.
-i want to be able to cook like jamie oliver.
-i want to own a pad of my own.
-i want to sit at a coffeeplace in town for the entire day and just watch the world walk past me.
-i want to laze in borders/kino..to book flip and book read.
- i want to count the raindrops when it rains.
i'm wasting precious time.
whiling what little amount of time i have for my essay away.
i've got no idea why i'm here in school, in the maths lab.
they say that we're going to do the powerpoint slides.
but they aren't doing anything.
i'm here at the back blogging.
and they're there replying emails and stuff..
don't they understand that i've got NO time?
that i need to do my ESSAY which is dued tomorrow?
i shouldn't have gone to school.
:(
waste of my time.
blah. i will leave this school by 2pm.
hook or crook.
-determined-
MICHAEL BUBLE -- Home
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
i think i'm a smart arse.
heh.
just by careful analysis and deduction.
yours truly has broken the serene mystery and found out who the guy is.
the teddy bear on the blog was a HUGE hint.
and well..the guy looks not bad..
:)
reminds me of Andrew K. tho..haha..not the one from pjc.
anyway..30mins in the sauna room and i finished 1 paragraph on anime. i think sauna's good..managed to complete what i couldn't have completed in the comforts of my home..had to be in a stuffy, hot, sticky environment to function.
sigh.
oh well.
at least i'm done with it.
so..the current word count is 400++.. i need an essay of about 1.2k-1.5k..
-shrugs-
i'm 1/5 completed.
-positive thinking-
i just did research on hello kitty etc. and i saw digustingly weird photos like hello kitty teeth.
sheese.
the madness.
that photo prolly scared me even more than the usual horror movies.
-shudders-
I'M Still Here (Treasure Planet OST)
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held to
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, You stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cuz I'm not here
(CHORUS)
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cuz I'm not here
And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I can be
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am
(CHORUS)
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here
They can't tell me who to be
'Cuz I'm not what they see
Yeah, The world is still sleeping while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe
(CHORUS)
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong
And how can they say I never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cuz I'm still here
I'm the one
'Cuz I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
a rock song with meaning..something that's close to the heart.
Perfect-Simple Plan
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
i think this is a very sad song.
i mean..for a kid to even ask his dad if he has grown up according to plan..
i would want my kid to know that even if they don't turn out according to my plan..that's totally fine.
it's their life and not mine.
and all i expect of them would be for them to be happy.
i don't seek a perfect child..
heck..i don't think i'll be a perfect parent..and neither am i the perfect kid right now..
i think there's only one perfect Father..and one perfect Son.
and basically..that's it.
seriously..no one of this world is perfect.
even with choice of producing clones, there's bound to be an error somewhere along the line.
NO ONE OF THIS WORLD IS PERFECT. BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS ALREADY IMPERFECT TO BEGIN WITH.
i watched a documentry of a couple who took a year off from everything and travelled around the world with their 3 kids.
i envy them.
anyway..
i held the hand of a boy today..
a boy whom i know by face, and not by name.
a boy who stays in an apartment above me.
a little indian boy..quite a charmer..
at 6pm every weekday..the lobby below transforms into a playground..
kids running around the swimming pool(though it is frowned upon)
kids chasing each other through the bushes and shrubs..
kids sitting on the laps of their maids feeding fishes and birds with leftover scraps of bread..
kids sitting on the floor proudly displaying their toys for all to see..
and..well..kids just blocking my pathway home.
but today..i found him on the intercom below..
asking for permission to visit a friend..
he was chattering and chattering and chattering..
and he held me hand as we walked into the lift..
he wanted to visit his friend..a neighbour's dog.
22nd floor please..he says.
how big is the dog? i asked..trying to fit into his world..
7 inches tall..white and gray..he says..chattering about him missing the dog and everything..
in the short ride back..i had a glimpse of his world..
he who chatters non-stop..
he who can't spell his name properly 2 years back(he had the same tutor as my brother and she was driven up the wall by him..)
he who broke his arm and had to wear a cast..
he who cries when someone else plays with his toys..
he who kisses the girls and make them cry..
i'm gonna call him Georgie Porgie.
i should find out his name sometime next week.
betrayal.
such a strong word.
i marvel at people who can actually offer their other cheek when another cheek is slapped.
i marvel at how Jesus could forgive Judas Iscariot for his betrayal.
i know i wouldn't.
weak is the human soul.
so does one really forgive and forget?
or does one forgive and not forget..
forgetting takes time..the human mind isn't like a computer..where a delete button would suffice.
to forget..one would prolly have to pile a whole ton of memories to fill the gap which that incident caused.
to forgive and forget..
does that mean forgetting what the other has done to you?
or does that mean not raking up the past for ammo in future battles?
i believe that forgiving is a choice..but forgetting takes time..
it's not something that we have control over..
once the knife of betrayal goes in...walls for self defence are hurriedly built..to prevent future hurts..
and walls bulit can be torn down too..but hard work is needed to regain the trust.
it's not possible to just laze around and hope that the walls come crashing down like what happened in jericho..
i don't really know..
but i think that..
Trust is such a fragile thing.
something that takes ages to build into..and yet shatters in an instant.
I give my trust out easily.
too easily i would say..
but luckily for me..i've got the common sense of not giving everything away easily..
bits and pieces are handed out time to time..after the person proves to be trustworthy..
and then the pieces accumulates over time..
i don't expect anyone to balance all the pieces of "trust" given to them properly..
i, myself made blunders before too..dropping a few pieces of "trust" given by others..
i reckon..the key is how to beg and grovel for new pieces of "trust" to be handed to you again..
yup.
the key is sincerity.
sadnessenippah
when you see this piece of gibberish..wad's the first word that stands out?
most people would think 'sadness'
and i agree..
but if you observe it carefully..you'll realised that by flipping this word..
it becomes this.."happinessendas"
and the word happiness is formed.
i choose happiness..even tho you might think that only sadness is present..well..keep searching and you'll find happiness too..
:)
well..that gibberish was my best friend's nick..yeah..(different guy from the thumb-guy)
well..
he chose sadness.
i mean...we are opposites of the same coin.
in some ways..we really do complement each other..like yin and yang..
in others..we clash like..erm..cymbals..
he's a regular pessimist..
and i..a regular optimist..
he's a guy who does facials and stuff...and even tho i do go for facials too..i'm really someone who just wears whatever's at hand..
i'm more vocal..and he's quieter.
he's more sporty..and me..a bummer..
but we both like star gazing..sky watching..borders bumming.
i think we're cool.
:)
me who loves God..and he who doesn't believe.
sigh.
it's really cool to be find someone who's so alike and so different from yourself..
and yet..i really do hope that he'll be somewhat more similar to me..
in terms of his outlook on life..and well...embracing God.
:(
can't wait for him to get his ass into nus..then i can prolly meet him to bum around and stuff..as long as i don't procrastinate and stuff and not meet him..
:|
haven't seen him in ages. darn.
it's depressing to see him search and dig for the negatives in every situation.
:(
Stalker: you should hear my bumblebee...i play it soooo fast until the beehive is running alongside me..cuz the bees are long gone.
:(
oh well..
i feel like recording my slow slow version of the bumblebee...and just like play it on highspeed to see how close am i to maksim...tho we're prolly as far as the heavens and the earth apart.
:(
anyway...
i walked about aimlessly around tanjong pagar today..oh dear...i should i visited Joel..i forgot..heh.
bought 3 packets of seaweed...from the Korean Supermarket..4.40bucks a packet of 12 sheets...i'm feeling the pain..actually..not really..i mean...it works out to be 30cents or so per piece... :)
hmm..
OH.
MY BEST FRIEND IS ACTING WEIRD.
i think he's slightly suicidal..
oh..i think we are so 'connected'..cuz after i typed the above sentence...
here's what i got from him..
eidannaw says:
i neva say i wan to take my life............
YOU SEE... his nick is EIDANNAW = EID ANNAW = WANNA DIE
darn..it sucks to be able to decode so well and find out that the coded thing is so depressing. :(
and now he's in denial because apparently he hasnt done anything yet..so...i shouldn't be worried.
i feel like knocking his head.
oh well..
my best friend is super sensible tho..i don't think he's really suicidal..
i'm just trying to irritate him.
-beams-
and now i'm whining to him..haha..
about my toe..and my nose.
:(
glori says that my toe is rotten. -bleah- horrible girl.
i think my toe-story sounds abit exaggerated..
but..
not really wadd..
i mean...
that was my version...you prolly get a milder version from my mum..
but how could she not have panicked..when her first-borned is in such agony??
-tsk tsk-
anyway...i just read stalker's blog..
and...
it was a pretty sweet gesture of yours.
:)
I'm Proud of You.
-claps-
ah..
i've got no idea whether it's a sign or just pure coincidence..
i mean..
when i thought of shifting over to australia..the next day..pam saw a bunch of guys bashing another guy just for a wallet..
and when i thought that ireland would be a pretty cool place to be at..i read an article about IRA's lousiness.
sigh.
oh well.
ran around town today.
it was cool and fun.
i mean..walking around without a care..from tanglin to Toys 'R Us..
exploring the entire shop.
before realising that i had to get home soon so as not to be late for piano class.
oh well.
finally finished the bumblebee.
myname is Winfrid Wong! not Evil Winfrid Wong!! ----> my reply...Evil Wong, Evil Winfrid, EWW = Evil Winfrid Wong.
k.thou shalt not be mean.
anyway..had a very bad start to a relatively :( day.
at around 3-4am...because of the horribly stuffy weather...i decided to wake up and open my windows slightly bigger.
being 3-4am, sleepy state, lack of light, and with a shelf like thingy above the bed, next to the window..
yours truly wham bam slammed right into the shelf..bumping my nose in the process..
it was truly truly PAINNNNNN.
i seriously thought that was it..i'm a goner...my nose has bled..so i didn't turn sideways for the rest of the sleep..
after i woke up..either from the sleep or from the faint...i found out that my nose was sore...but it didn't bleed..so..YAY.
:)
butttt...
while i was grabbing some file from the bookshelf...some stupid wooden thingy fell and whacked me on my toe!
it was PAIN..even worse than the nose.
there was blood on the floor..
and apparently my blood looks gooey and bloody and thick..
i was sooo afraid and in pain...i thought my toe got chopped off or something.
in the end..after my mum clean the wound and stuff...well..it was just a small cut..but the impact was darn huge to have caused blood on the floor..and it wasnt a drop of blood..it was a puddle of blood..luckily i didn't faint..i've got low tolerance of blood esp my own blood..
ended up plastering my toe..and hobbling in my SHOES.
i had to wear them because of all the days to injure my toe...it was on LAB day.
and i need shoes to enter the darn lab.
:(
i think i'm developing a bruise on my foot.
it's swelling!!
:(
sigh..like wad joel described me as..i'm a ruldoph with a swollen toe.
:(
then stupid Tg didn't come for meeting today.
i'm sooo infuriated by him.
i wanted to use the bleeding pipette to stab his eyeballs and dig them out and jump on them until they become mushy.
-bleah-
that's how furious i was..
i mean..he had the cheek to tell me that..he'll be late because he hasn't finish his experiment yet..and i was like..which one are you doing today? and the reply was..the milk powder one..
and...
I DID THAT EXACT SAME EXPERIMENT A COUPLE OF WEEKS BACK AND I ENDED AT 2.30-3pm!!
you know why he was late?
because his stupid group always does their bleeding report on the SAME DAY. and he being the idiot that he is..thinks that the report which is dued NEXT tuesday..is more important than the project report which is dued THIS friday.
asshole man.
(refer below to see what their group did to another group last week)
and he was thick-skinned enough to sms-ed me if i could pass my milk powder report to him..for reference..he says.
i have the report somewhere in my mailbox.but i couldn't be bothered..so i told him that it's with my other group members.
and he doesn't like get the hint and stuff..and he's like...oh..could you get from her to pass to me? i couldn't be bothered to reply..
bah.
anyway...what they did last week was..
because my group was doing this same experiment as another group..
and his group did that the previous week.
so..the other group asked if they could borrow their report for reference..and Tg's group said..we exchange/trade reports lar..and the other group was like..fine..not a problem..
and after looking at their report...Tg's group didn't want to trade anymore..because they think that it's not worth it..
i mean..wad rubbish...what's with the it's not worth it crap?
mann...selfish pricks.
luckily my group has NEVER EVER had any dealings with them..
i don't intend to anyway..
i rather slog my guts out by doing our report myself instead of asking them for help.
my group is pretty sociable anyway..we've got plenty of references.
no worries.
unlike them..i think they've got a bad rep.
-bleah-
tho i haven't really decided on the venue or layout or wad we're gonna do at my 21st..(it's still a long long way to go)
i've basically decided on the drinks.
:)
well...obviously with underaged kids present..the drinks would prolly be soft drinks or a bottle of wine or two..
then somehow or rather..i think the one with cal, jia etc. would be non-alcoholic..haha
with mel and gang...i'm not too sure.. -shrugs-
but me think i'm gonna bum in a room somewhere with the class or something with wines and baileys..and we bum and just chat about everything..i don't want any vodka or wadnots..eek..baileys, sweet whites, maybe martinis. :D
i don't mind paying for the drinks.
-beams-
I busted 4bucks on a pair of earrings...thought they looked soooo cool then..and now...it's just nice.
ahhhhh..
anyway..i'm a pretty good/decent cook.. :)
whipped up dishes like butter prawns and porkchops and rosti today.
-beams-
and i'm feeling mood swing-ish.
i should go hide in my room.
-poofs-
Short of sounding alcoholic..
i love Baileys on the Rocks..
<333
i love it more than i love wine..
ha.
that's my conclusion after downing 1 red, 1 white and 2 Baileys.
<333
I love Baileys.
shit.
i'm getting a lil' too high.
slogan of the day: You're in Good Hands with Love. (because God is Love)
man..i'm good.
Try - Nelly Furtado
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
Have u noticed how nice the trees in town look like now?
town = singapore. not just a specific area.
anyway..i guess it's a seasonal thing.
-shrugs-
rightt.
the apple cider vinegar thingy finally worked.
uh...yar.
Look at me thru a looking glass. you might find things you've never known before.
anyway..
contrary to popular belief (aka cal),I DID NOT LIE.
i just omitted certain details to my parents.
so..i didn't tell a lie...i just omitted parts which would make me look bad..
and perhaps even cause me to cry more than i already was at that time..
=)
and the thing is that we found each other after 10 years for disappearance in friendster
and now..
we're pretty good friends.
=)
one of our first few messages went like.."so..how's ur thumb now? sorry for hurting it.." and then i go.."ahh..it's ok already..sorry for taking ur toy.." etc.
technically..he's my oldest friend.
i mean..
14 years! try beating that. i mean..erm...without taking into the account of the 10 years that we didn't talk..
*edit* he says we know each other for 6 + 1.5 years = 7.5 years already.
heh.
oh.
did i mention that his birthday is a day after mine?
and that he still remembers my mum?
oh..for the record, my mum remembers him too..
haha..
he's scarred for life.
at least before i reach 21..i left a deep impression on someone.. =)
ha.
oh well..
-shrugs-
and i just, for the first time told him sorry for taking his toy..
haha
anyway...excerpt of our currently on-going conversation..
he: ay seriously...i was taken aback when u came knocking on my door with ur mum
i was so small lor...then ur mum so fierce can
me: any kid in pri 2-3 would be scared lor
and then we're transported into the past again.
i think it's so cool having shared history with a friend.
as in..shared very eventful history..be it bad or good..
gives you a chance to look back again and laugh at yourself.
me: i didn't talk to u after that..cuz i thought u were angry with me
him: and i was scared of u...
him: then the sch bus i see u i siam u
this sounds so cheesy and corny..but it's so nice.
oh well..he was always a nice guy.
-beams-
remember a time of long ago..
i met a boy and he met me..
as we travel from school to home..
attracted to his magnetic cars was me..
i asked to play with his new toy..
and 'no' was the answer that he gave me..
refusing to accept a 'no.'
i snatched his toy and bid ado..
he gave chase and bumped my thumb..
and he made my little thumb go numb(?)
upon reaching home i started to cry..
and my parents asked me 'why?'
i showed them my little bruised thumb..
and they wanted to know who was the dumb-dumb..
they went up to his house that day..
and saw him and scolded and say..
"See what you've done! You made my daughter's thumb go numb!"
Afterwards then did they find out..
what exactly their daughter had done.
-the end for now.- (quite a bad poem..haha..but based on a true story)
i miss him. :(
Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed.
i've got cheated by my camera.
remember how i said my camera was spoilt and stuff..
well...it isn't!
i brought it all the way to the service center and stuff..
and it was working PERFECTLY fine.
-mumbles mumbles mumbles-
ended up walking all the way from Shriro House to Anchorpoint.
walked past showrooms of Porsche, Mini Cooper, Ferrari etc.
it was a pretty cool 1 hour of walking and taking in the sights of singapore.
bought a bottle of elderflower concentrate from ikea and it's surprising nice.
:)
met my mum for lunch and stuff.
got home reformatted my 128mb card and now it seems to be functioning perfectly well.
-mumbles mumbles mumbles-
the world seems nice and dandy at the moment.
and i can start on my project.
Yay.
:)
fiddled around this photo for a while.
since i'm not aiming for 'WOW..nice realistic photo'
i think this looks quite interesting for an abstract piece.
Yes, lemmings jump off cliffs. Why do they do this? No one really knows. Some scientists, having nothing better to do, have puzzled over this question for decades. Maybe this behavior is instinctual. Maybe it's culturally conditioned. Whatever the answer, thousands of lemmings the world over continue to march to the edges of cliffs and simply leap into the great unknown.
lemmings lemmings lemmings.
interesting creatures aren't they?
following blindly.
having brains and not using 'em.
somehow.
i feel that singaporeans have adopted a lemming-like approach.
we're just luckily that the lead lemmings haven't made a wrong turn yet.
or else. the whole lemming population will jump drop off a cliff and drown.
look at the scramble for engineers and now life scientists.
blind lemmings might be just what we are.
Why do i have to have 2 realists as parents, when i myself am an bona fide idealist?
i wonder if that's a good thing.
i wonder why instead of telling me how i can achieve my goal, they tell me all the cons.
i wonder why instead of strengthening my dream, they choose to tear it apart?
can't they let me dance in a field of flowers for a while?
i mean..i just came up with that plan last night..it's barely 24hours old.
does it even matter to you that maybe i don't want to live a life of just studying and working? that there are other things in life which are more important?
things about singapore's companies are cruel and that i've got to start work to gain experience..these are reasonable stuff.
but why can't they see that there are other things besides WORK WORK WORK?
maybe i would like to live hand-to-mouth for a while?
maybe i would like to experience first hand why the grass isn't greener on the other side..instead of just listening to others..
i really don't get it.
but seriously speaking.
i don't give a damm.
you can tear my bloody dream down. but you can't KEEP it down.
if i can't get your blessings then so be it.
you can keep them.
the worse case scenario would be that i'll slog my guts out in some stupid old company in singapore for a year or so.
and then i'll leave for my working vacation.
and if things don't work out..at least i'll have a good vacation.
that's something called a cultural experience..which i don't think you deem important enough..because all that matters to you is prolly WORK experience.
*edit* although i was super pissed and everything last night..i still love my parents. really. and i know they love me too. they just took up the role as devil advocates at the wrong time.
i've got a 3-4 year plan.
and i'm determined to see it through.
cuz if i don't start now.
i'll never ever take the first step.
the aim is PR in either Australia or NZ..
which would be quite a chore, considering the fact that i've got zero experience and i did not study in any of their universities..which is a wrong choice. because i hate my life here in nus. there's just no aim.
i'm like a bloody piece of styrofoam drifting around the sea of styrofoam-chomping sharks.
gah.
oh well.
if God wills and my finances will...i'm thinking of going over to Oz for a working vacation. prolly straight after i graduate. which might be March'07 onwards..for a year.
if i decide on it..
please open your homes to me k?
i promise not to trash it.
i'm a non-smoker, don't really get drunk, and really good company..plus i can keep the place clean and tidy. :)
actually..the aim of that working vacation would prolly be a gauge of whether i really want a PR..and well..to travel and have fun.. so..i prolly will be going around australia.
places where i could prolly get lodging..(crosses fingers)
- Sydney(Jing, Jac, Pam, Mich etc)
- Melb (Lijun, Nick, Jon, Liwei, Tng etc)
- Brissy (Tiff)
- Perth (diggable...should be easy to find)
oh no...i need more aussie people!
haha
:D
I'm so not in the best of moods now.
meine digicam ist kaputt.
SchieBe.
gah.
have to send it for servicing.
yuck yuck yuck.
blah.
and i feeling like stabbing someone with my pen now.
and it's the other guy from my project group.
idiot.
gah.
it's not doing anything good to my karma. remember jamie..you DON'T want a big dark ball of cloud following you wherever you walk.
*edit* STALKER GLORIJOY MIRACLE TAN SHI EN. WE NEED TO TALK. i just read your blog. we need to talk. heh. my most feared phrase..because jing has used it one too many times on me. -shudders- but i'm nice so yeah. nicer than jing. =) i hope she doesn't read this..
*edit edit* my msn nick was "Blah." then i was listening to ry's blog's music. and i decided to change it to "Just Shine". Thank You God for spoiling my camera. that didn't sound quite right, since i'm the one who technically dropped the cam..let's say...Thank You God for giving me a chance to Praise Your Name instead of Cursing and Swearing and Bumming around in my bad mood. I will Shine for You, even though i might look more like a flicker now. but i will burn and shine. i'm flammable.
I just recieved an sms from Elroi..here's how it goes:
"Hi...i'm having job week...from the 12 march to 18 march...if you want me to run an errand for you or clean up your house pls msg or call me thanks..."
i am soo amused by it..no idea why..it might be because i'm supposed to be in lecture now..but i'm at home.
or it could be because i finished editing a 5pg piece of report about the process of making 'plastic wood'.
so..i've got someone who's willing to help clean my place for me..the question is..do i trust him?
haha..
nah..i'm too nice.
i'll prolly get him to run some small chores of me.
we'll see.
-amused-
i found several exciting recipes today..
one would be this..
Beer Float
4 bottle beer
4 scoops vanilla ice cream
Directions:
Beer Float
Pour beer into a tall glass and top with a scoop of ice cream. Yummm.
righty-ho..such an amazing recipe..
Joel came up with Water Float..for the healthy leavers live-ers.
and i came up with Ice Cream on the Rocks.
THEY ARE BOTH COPYRIGHTED IDEAS.
-grins-
so no stealing please.
heh
i'm going loco.
TOY STORY
"You've Got a Friend in Me" - Written and Performed By Randy Newman
(nominated for Best Song Oscar, 1995)
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead,
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said,
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles,
and I got them too
There isn't anything
I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
but none of them
will ever love you
the way I do
it's me and you, boy
And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Did i mention how i walked/strolled under the rain on wednesday?
about how i was worried that water might get into the SLR which i had in my bag?
and how i ended up getting all wet?
and how i found out that my sweater is water absorbant and got heavier with every passing second?
about how i jumped over puddles only to get my sandals soaked?
about how i was complaining to Him about the rain and declaring a minute later that i loved the rain?
about how i love watching droplets drop drop drop into the puddle below?
about the ripples they make?
about how you try to tiptoe your way from the front gate to the toilet, so as to not make a watery mess on the floor?
about panicking and checking to see if the SLR is damaged or if your lecture notes are wet?
and changing out of your heavy and wet clothes and drink a cuppa of hot milo?
this is how rainy days should always be like.
stroll and enjoy the rain.
i don't think i'll ever get sick of Disney's cartoons..
was watching The Lion King 3: Hakuna Matata.
it's super ultre heartwarming.
and i'm gonna go back to the show now.
I wonder what will happen if i happen to lose my fingers..or lose the sense of touch of my finger..or the ability to wiggling my fingers and stuff..
if i can't feel my fingers...
-i won't be able to play on the piano..
-i won't be able to write..
-i won't be able to type..
-i won't be able to cook..
-i won't be able to flick channels off the remote control..i might have to use my head or some other body part..
-i won't be able to turn on/off the light..which means that i would either have to sleep with the lights on..or bump around the room in the dark..which would lead to a lot of bruises..
-i won't be able to sms..
-i won't be able to call..
-i won't be able to READ..
-i won't be able to touch anyone..or whack anyone..or pinch..or box...etc..
-i won't be able to open my door/gate..which means..i either can't go out of the house..or i can't come back in..
-i won't be able to drive..
-i won't be able to clap my hands..but i can smack my palms together..
-i won't be able to dig for boogers and stuff..haha..this is too gross..
-i won't be able to scratch my head..
i don't see the point of making this list..heh. utterly pointless.
ARGH.
I've got NO school tmr.
darn it.
and i still have to make a friggin trip back down to NUS.
Just because of a proj grp meeting...which will last less than an hour!
GAH.
2bucks on transport leh..
bleah.
and it's at 10am.
MISSY HIGGINS LYRICS
Scar
He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit
And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and
spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to cut me so I'd fit
And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of feeling like I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?
And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?
I have FINALLY finished a roll of 36 shots film.
after 2 weeks.
-beams-
do YOU want to know what photos i've taken?
Buy the roll of film from me and find out!
-best salesperson smile-
contact ME for more info.
like what they say..No risk..No gain!
I'm feeling totally stagnant.
my life is a complete zilch.
Good job, jamie.
what's important is the journey..but doesn't the end matter at all?
i've got no idea.
and i'm supposed to finish 17shots before returning the darn SLR tmr.
my life's a zilch.
Just had a huge dose of Liwei's entries..
heh.
haven't been reading la.
-busy busy busy-
like a bee..
and my bodyclock is all screwed up..
napping in the afternoon..and staying up at night..
maybe i should start on a "Count mine blessings" project also..
:)
the 'forgive-forget' entry was good too..
You're an ISFJ
ISFJ
Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious. You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need. You are responsible and enjoy being needed. You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming. You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.
You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve. You have a strong work ethic.
You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...
You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for your family. You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.
You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs...you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...worry a lot...
You need to have things organized in a way you think works.. you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray, you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done...
You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall. You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one. you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers.....you learn best by DOING...
You tend not to be the center of attention...often appear serious...others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside...
Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present, you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...you can be taken advantage of....could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.
ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"
time to study.
i am so amused.
joel's nick was commenting about the fact that tonight smells smelly..
and...
here's tee's response..
"oh smelly night,the stars are brightly shining,it is the night of our dear joel's birth"
haha..my ribs are aching.
equation of the day was supposed to be... 3 nails + 1 Cross = miracle.
but..after enlightenment from pete...who also commented about the fact that i failed my maths..
the equation is now.. 3 nails + 1 Cross = 4giveness..
which is totally cool. :)
i miss walking around school and getting hugs from friends..i don't get that anymore in nus. it's no fun.
AHHH
i could win the home-nus dash..if there ever was one..
-beams-
i overslept..
well..not exactly.
it was more of a....woke up at 6am..realised that it was too early..went back to sleep..got awaken again at 6.40am..announced to the world that i'll find my way to school myself...and went back to sleep..and then woke up to find that it was already 7.30++am..
school starts at 8am..
started hopping around the room getting dressed...gobbled the breakfast..
and jay-walked over to the bus stop..
managed to reach school at 8.05am..
am i good..or am i good..
-beams-
